Frukost i Phoenix

Ett minne från Arizona: Det är morgon och solen lyser på Phoenix röda berg. Jag lämnar mitt hotellrum med den lurviga orangemelerade heltäckningsmattan, möblerna i imiterad ek och tavlorna med fejkade indianska motiv och går mot lobbyn. Jag ska vara med på en presskonferens, men först är det frukostdags.

Konferensdeltagarna troppar in i Marriotts frukostrum under glada tillrop:

- Hi George, howzit going?
- Terrific, Frank, and how's the wife and kids?

Frukosten verkar vara av det ymnigare slaget att döma av dem som redan blivit serverade. Jag slår mig ned intill en brittisk journalist från Electronics Weekly. Han beställer sin frukost av en uppassare utrustad med ett formulärblock fastklämt på ett skrivunderlag av aluminium och pennan i högsta hugg. Följande konversation utspinner sig:

- Good morning, sir. Are you ready to order, sir?
- I’ll have an omelette, please.
- And what sort of omelette, sir? Western omelette, French omelette?
- I think I'll have a Western omelette, please, and some bacon.
- How many strips of bacon, sir?
- Four please. Could I have some pancakes too?
- Sure, what sort of pancakes, we have...
- Any type of pancake will do, thank you.
- How many pancakes would you like, sir?
- Three, please.
- What would you like to have with your pancakes, sir? We have raspberry jam, strawberry jam, blackberry jam, boysenberry jam, blueberries. Or just syrup? Or butter?
- Butter? Good heavens, no. I’ll have some syrup.
- What sort of syrup, sir? Maple syrup?
- Yes, maple syrup will do just fine, thank you.
- Would you like some sugar as well?
- No, thank you.
- Would you like some coffee? Tea? Or ice water?
- Coffee please.
- What sort of coffee, sir? We have…
- Just plain black coffee.
- Would you like some juice, sir? We have tomato juice, orange juice, grapefruit…
- Orange juice, please.
- How would you like your eggs, sir?
- No eggs, thank you. I’ve already ordered an omelette.
- Sausages? Buttered toast and marmalade? Cereal? Oatmeal? We have…
- Look here, I just want my breakfast. Would you please be so kind as to go and get it for me?

När han sedan fick sin frukost låg allt på samma tall­rik, pannkakorna överlappade omeletten och lönnsirapen hade flutit ut över omeletten och baconstrim­lorna…